I looked at my own cervix.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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