what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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