It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
