apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
