There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
