Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
