East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
