At least make sure they are 18
Why
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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