The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Acid is not a monday night drug
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
