so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
