I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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