so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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