There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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