forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
