He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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