You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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