You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
