lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
