So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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