You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You're my little dorito
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
