I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
