Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
it was like eating out sand paper
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
