school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
