I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
