Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He felt like a one man threesome
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
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