Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
sex in a hospital.. check
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
