All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
