i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
