We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
