Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
