doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
