I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
