I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
