if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
