every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
