My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
