Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
this will be a night to untag.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
