She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Randomize
