Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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