Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
