Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
