yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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