Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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