My nipple is on Facebook.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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