Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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