im having a threesome with these popsicles
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
