Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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