Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
