I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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