your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
