i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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