You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
